Been quarreling with honey these few days, i'm very very frustrated with myself. I just can't control it. I feel lonely, i feel left-out. I don't know why. Maybe it's human nature. We feel lonely, we feel left-out because there is a hole in our heart that can never be fill up. Damn it. Honey, i'm sorry for scolding you, quarreling with you. I love you (:
Seriously, whenever i quarreled with honey. I feel that i've let him down, seriously. I don't know what i want. I don't know what am i thinking exactly. Can someone tell me, why am i like this now? This seriously isn't me. I wasn't like this in the past, neither am i now. I don't want to be someone so indecisive D; I want to know what i want, what i'm thinking. Saying that i love you, honey. I don't even know how to love you. I don't even know if i really love you. I hate this. Honey, i'm sorry that i've never told you this. I'm afraid that you would leave me for this. I'm afraid of lonely. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of losing you this support, this shoulder. I need you, i seriously need you.
It's not that i don't allow you to be with your friends, brothers and sisters. I know you don't belong to me alone. But, i hate to be left alone when you're with them. That's why, i usually only follows you to meet Alex and not Wx, Lt they all. Because i can communicate with Alex but not the others. And, you know about Lt.
Yes, i do admit too that i'm selfish. I've the selfish mindset. I want you to only belong to me, just me. And, no one else. I'm sorry for this selfish side of me. But, honey. I simply just can't lose you. I know these few weeks i've been telling you something or somewhat hinting you of breaking up. I'm sorry. I don't mean it. But, i want to stop myself from depending on you too much and having that stupid, selfish mindset. I just need you too much. I love you. Sorry.
I promise to try to stop myself from giving you all these nonsense anymore. I love you.